Finding out about Dave's Deployment

***To preface, this is long, and kinda personal maybe, but if you are interested, well, here ya go!

I had a feeling, but I wanted to ignore it. Especially when Dave and I went to Dining Out (A formal sit down dinner) on base, the weekend before finding out. The speaker talked on "Warrior Ethos" and what that means. Basically being prepared to answer your nation's call and the characteristics of a warrior. Everyone stood up and all active duty recited "The Airman's Creed". I was standing right next to Dave, so hearing these words from him made me really hear them.

I am an American Airman.
I am a Warrior.
I have answered my Nation’s call.

I am an American Airman.
My mission is to Fly, Fight, and Win.
I am faithful to a Proud Heritage,
A Tradition of Honor,
And a Legacy of Valor.

I am an American Airman.
Guardian of Freedom and Justice,
My Nation’s Sword and Shield,
Its Sentry and Avenger.
I defend my Country with my Life.

I am an American Airman.
Wingman, Leader, Warrior.
I will never leave an Airman behind,
I will never falter,
And I will not fail.

The Air Force Core Values are, Integrity First, Service Before Self, & Excellence In All We Do, Dave is definitely an example of that, especially service before self.

Dave found out Wed. July 22nd. Dave was told there was a spot for a deployment, but he would likely not get it because it was more suited for a Captain. Dave had a shock when in a matter of minutes they came back and said never mind and that he was going to Afghanistan. He would have 2 months of training in the states and then be 9 months out. So, he'll basically be away for almost a year.

On his way home Dave called to see if I was feeling better. Kayla and I had gotten sick the day before and we were a little better, but still sick. He came in and said he had something to tell me. And I knew, I guessed and was right. I went through lots of emotions from stunned silence, to denial, to breakdown. Just the fact that I am pregnant, and emotional already, and being sick when he told me his news of deployment was a lot for me to handle.

So both our heads have been reeling for awhile, trying to grasp what this would mean. I had several thoughts of what I would do, what would be different, and what Dave would have to go through, what he would be missing out on, and what I would miss, and Kayla, and our baby. Every moment with him has been so much more precious since then. I kept thinking of Colbie Caillat's song lyrics, "And how am I suppose to tell you how I feel? I need oxygen." I cried at the drop of a hat, and without warning. Especially when I saw Dave with Kayla, reading a book to her, or putting her to bed in the cute way he does by her picking an animal for him to be while riding piggyback upstairs, finding the hymns together during church, or just pretend playing or just talking and laughing and being silly together. Kayla adores her daddy, and so do I.

A couple weeks ago Kayla's speech teacher told me they asked all the kids what their favorite time of day was. Kayla said it was when the sun went behind the clouds. They asked her why and she said, "Because that's when daddy gets home." The other day when I was closing the curtains I noticed Kayla's little chair by the window. She had moved a pretty heavy toy basket that was in front of the window. She had been waiting for Dave to get home after I told her he was on his way. I hadn't noticed till then. It melted my heart.

Those first few days I had a lot of different thoughts. Pioneer Day was 2 days later. I did think of all of those strong pioneer women, and I felt humbled when I did, and that I could relate with them the tiniest bit. Dave's deployment is nothing compared to what they went through, but they are definitely examples and a source of strength. I thought about Brigham Young's family, and other families where the husband was called on a mission. When Brigham Young left for his mission he was sick and all of his family were sick. And it was up to his wife to take care of her little family and provide for them, and her husband on a mission. Having faith that God would provide and protect them. Wow.

That Sunday there were 3 youth and a high councilman reporting their experiences on the pioneer trek to Martin's Cove. It was a really good meeting. All of them reported on the same very powerful experience at some point. On the trek the boys were separated from their "families" and told that they were to be enlisted in the militia. That meant the girls had to pull the handcarts by themselves. The boys had to sit on the sidelines and were not allowed to talk or help in any way. The girls struggled a ways up a very steep and sandy hill. One boy said everyone was crying, but he probably cried more than the girls did, not being able to help them. Oh man, that experience really hit home with me then. They all talked about it, and I cried every time. It was a metaphor that I couldn't help but readily apply to myself.

This is Dave's first deployment. Before this there have been 2 extended times when Dave has been away. The first was quite the experience. Dave was at field training for a month. BUT, we had a week left on our apartment contract and I got a call from an apartment complex that we had been on a waiting list for. (It was cheaper!) So, I packed up our apartment, while also nannying, and being involved in the stake musical as a narrator. That was a crazy time, but I did feel the Lord's strength during that whole time. I felt strength that was not my own. And I could NOT have done it without the help of an awesome ward and friends who were tender mercies at various times, and who answered my prayers. So I know we will be looked after, if I rely on the Lord. The other extended time was Dave's 101 training in Ohio. It was 7 weeks, and the longest that we have ever been apart. I know, I admit I am a wimp.

This is all probably sounding like a downer, but I have thought of a ton of things I am grateful for. I won't list all of them, but I do have some things that I am very very grateful for.

***Dave will be here for the baby's birth, and a little afterward too. Which gives us some time to prepare. (When one of Dave's co-workers was deployed he only had a week's notice!)

***Priesthood ordinances and power. Remembering promises from God, and the knowledge that we are sealed in the temple and our family can be together forever, and that we can receive strength, protection, and comfort all from the priesthood. I am so grateful.

***My testimony. I know from past experience that Heavenly Father has looked out for me and my family. That He has given me strength beyond my own when I felt I couldn't do things. That I know I can rely on Him and that He loves me, and my family.

I should definitely mention that I am so proud of Dave. He will be answering his nation's call and be doing a lot of good while he is away. I'm also grateful for technology! What a blessing that we will still be able to keep in touch. It'll be hard, and I will miss him like crazy, but we're hoping this experience will just make us a little stronger in a lot of ways.